Crossed Hearts and Lost Stars
by Rosalind Fayrinne
Summary: JerZa fanfiction :)
1. Prologue - Run

She ran and ran, tripping and falling in her attempt to run away. Her breath came in ragged gasps as she batted away the thorny bushes scraping her arms. In her mind, she kept telling herself she could escape, but deep in her heart, she knew there was never an escape. There was never any hope once something like this had happened.

"You think running away will help? There is never an escape!"

The blue-haired boy cackled, his red-threaded eyes gleaming in the late evening darkness.

"Run, Scarlet. While you still can!"

She clenched her fists at the nickname he had given her. Tears threatened to spill at any moment, nearly causing her to lose footing once more. The trees loomed up in front of her and on all sides, taunting her and grabbing at her thin blue robe. The more she ran, the more terrified she became. At long last, she broke out of the woods and onto the beach. Standing there under the moonlight, sides heaving, she let the tears fall and cried out to the stars.

"Help... me..."

As she sagged onto the sand, the boy smirked, tucking away a memory of the shock of red hair on the pristine white beach. He turned away, and faded into the shadows.


	2. Chapter One - One Last Time

The girl stood at the edge of the woods, red hair streaming out in the wind. For a moment, it seemed she would never move. The wind whipped furiously around her, but she remained still. Her thoughts wandered back to the day, back when he had left her for dead. His image haunted her, kept her awake some nights.

"Jellal..." She whispered into the wind.

Sighing, Erza requipped into her usual Heart Kreuz armor and forced a smile onto her face as she approached the guild. Gray, shirtless as usual, glanced at her before returning to his bicker with Natsu.

"Natsu, I know I'm stronger than you."

"Liar, icy freak!"

Erza stopped, looking at them with an amused grin slowly spreading across her face. Gray felt her gaze, and slid his eyes over to check on his suspicions. Moments after, Natsu stopped talking long enough to notice who exactly Gray was staring at.

"Oh, Erza! Didn't see you! Gray and I are best friends, aren't we, ice buddy?"

He happily grabbed Gray's hand, laughing and making merry. Erza shook her head, leaving it be. She knew the truth, and it wasn't about to change. Of course, there was one truth that would always be a mystery to her, a truth that involved a certain young man with blue hair.

"Erza."

A vaguely familiar voice spoke her name, and she turned to see who it was. Oddly enough, no one was there. Another time, the voice said her name, and again she saw no one there. Gritting her teeth and shaking her head to clear it, she stormed into the guild with less of an effort to look happy.

"Erza, no need to break the guild down."

"Sorry, Master. I just have things... on my mind."

The minute man just opened one eye lazily at her and muttered something. She smiled sadly, tearing a sheet from the job board and breezing out of the guild hall. A quick requip switched her to the simpler Robes of Yuen, a more flexible fit. Once outside though, she bumped into someone hurrying to get inside the guild, noting that it was a familiar someone.

"Erza!"

"J-jellal." She reeled.

He noticed the tone of her voice, and his face fell. A quick sigh, and he was pulling her into the shadows of the woods. She followed, but only from a loss of words and surprise at his sudden appearance.

"Jellal, what are you-?"

"Shush. Just follow me."

She somewhat angrily shut her mouth, but made up her mind to ask him every question as soon as they stopped. Once in the safety and comfort of the trees, Jellal stopped and caught his breath, allowing Erza the opportunity to do the same.

"Erza, I have news."

"Yes, and explaining to do. Last time I saw you, the military was taking you to prison."

"About that... I was broken out by some... friends."

"And they would be?"

Erza glared at him, making him drop his gaze.

"Ultear and Meredy." He admitted sadly.

"W-what?!"

"It's true. We did, but for what we hope is a good enough reason."

Erza said nothing, only raising an eyebrow skeptically. Although her heart ached at every mention of Jellal's name, her law abiding side was protesting this latest act.

"We, the three of us, decided to form a guild to find and eliminate dark guilds in Fiore. It is a way to partially make up for our sins in the past."

Ultear met her fiery gaze coolly, and waited for her reaction. Erza chewed on her lip, mulling over the prospect of the new independent guild. It seemed like a good idea, yet there was something else bothering her.

"Alright, you made a guild. But why tell only me?"

"Because," Jellal looked up from his seated position on a fallen log. "I have regained my memories."

At this, the red-haired mage let a small gasp escape her lips. His memories of all of the things he had done to her, all of the things he had gone through with her...

"But I thought-"

"I know, but at the time I didn't realize that not all of my memories had come back. When I regained the second half of my memories, I remembered the first time I had met you. Your bright hair, Scarlet."

"Jellal, I..."

"I remembered how we always stuck up for each other, and then I remembered that day I sent you away."

A forlorn look entered his eyes, and Erza closed her eyes. This news was troubling indeed, but in a different way from anything else on her mind. The feelings she had buried resurfaced, and a tear formed at the corner of her eye. Unknown to the two of them, Ultear had led Meredy away, giving them privacy and intimacy.

"Erza, don't cry. Please, I'll find a way to make things work."

"That's what you said at the tower, idiot. I was a fool to trust you then, and I would be a fool to trust you now."

As she said those words, she instantly knew they were false. Instinct told her that Jellal was dangerous, but her heart was telling her Jellal was safe, a haven for her love. But was it actually love? More tears brimmed on her lashes, having no chance to fall, for Jellal wiped them away.

"I know I made mistakes and messed up really bad, but can you forgive me one last time? Just one more time, I promise."

She couldn't say anything through the sobs that shook her body. Jellal waited, and she slowly began calming her grief. He cautiously embraced her, folding her slight frame into his arms.

"Please?" He tried one more time.

"One last time, you fool. After that..."

"I know. I'm sorry, Erza. I'll make it good this time."

The two of them stood there, hugging, until she finally broke away, averting her gaze.

"I understand if you never want to speak to me again. No hard feelings."

She nodded, but didn't confirm or deny his theories. A last shuddering sigh pierced the lonely silence between them, and she walked slowly out of the woods.


	3. Chapter Two - Follow Your Heart

"Erza, can I talk to you?"

"Of course, Master."

He beckoned, and she followed him to the back staircase and up to the S-Class floor. With so few S-Class mages, the second floor usually was empty, and in fact was empty now. The Master sat on a table, folding in arms in his usual way.

"You seem distracted lately."

Erza chuckled wryly, then sighed. Staring nervously at the floor between her toes, she searched for the words.

"I understand if you can't say it, brat."

"Thank you, Master. The thing is, there is someone who I have feelings for, and I can't tell him because it will ruin our relationship even more. At the same time, I can't help but wonder if the feelings he seems to have towards me are real or not."

"I'm going to tell you to just follow your heart. That's all I can say on these types of things. After all, everyone is different."

"Of course. Thank you, Master."

"Hmm. Now go on a mission. We need to pay for what those two troublemakers have gone and done again."

"Aye."

Erza laughed softly, picturing Natsu running through a town screaming for everyone to come and fight him, or Gray trying to freeze Natsu into an ice cube. Her amusement quickly faded into irritation when she soon realized the consequences this would have on the guild.

"I have to whip them up when they return." She muttered.

"Erza, are you okay? You look a bit, um, what's the word? Oh, right. Annoyed."

"In fact, Lucy, I am. Natsu and Gray have done it again. They've destroyed a town and called upon us to pay for it."

"I know. I was there." The blonde mage seemed to shrink.

"I guess you got it worse, then."

"Yes, I got it head on."

Lucy grimaced, but walked over to the job board anyways.

"Erza, have you seen any good job offers lately? They all seem to be too danger-inviting for our team..." She trailed off, expecting that Erza would understand.

"I know what you mean. Fortunately, I have one that shouldn't be too much trouble, although we can never tell."

"Okay, let's go then!"

The two ladies visited Mirajane to check in, then set off on the journey to the nearby town of Clover on the train. They settled in their seats, waiting for the engineer to start their ride. Erza remained lost in her thoughts, and Lucy left her to it, brainstorming ideas for her novel.

Jellal came filtering back into her thoughts again. She tried not to think about him, but the more she tried, the less she could avoid him. There was one thing he had said that didn't sit quite right with her. He had told her he only needed forgiveness one last time. So did that mean he was going to...? That was too depressing to think about, so she directed her thoughts elsewhere. Maybe things weren't as morbid as they seemed, but when dealing with Jellal, she could never be sure.

"Follow my heart, eh Master?" She whispered to herself.

Jellal, still sitting on the tree long after Erza had left, folded his hands, deep in thought. What he was planning would put her out of danger from being involved with him, yet at the same time, misgivings were racing through his mind every minute. He knew that he would be keeping out of harm's way, but she would be devastated. Or would she? It was hard to tell with a woman like her.

"Jellal, don't be too hard on yourself yet." Ultear whispered.

"I know. I can't help it though."

"Well, if it helps any, I think she respects our decisions enough to see the logic in it."

"Thanks Meredy."

You don't have any idea. He thought.

And it was true. They didn't even know what he was planning, and they were offering advice to him. All the same, he apreciated the sensitivity they were showing. It seemed that having two female partners would be beneficial in these matters.

"Personally, I wouldn't tink too much over these matters." Ultear gave him a half-smile.

"We need you to help us still, Jellal."

"I know. Sorry."

Putting all thoughts of his red-haired angel out of his mind, he stood, brushing off his cloak, and strode resolutely out of the woods, leaving his partners to follow him.

"That's the Jellal I know."

As he walked, he focused on their next plan of action. After this last mission, it would be time for him to put his final devices into place. At the moment, his mission involved the wipeout of a minor Dark guild called Coyote Fang. Obselete and unknown besides to the villagers around that area, they had caused minor amounts of irritation in the far corners of the kingdom; not enough to make a fuss, but enough to drive people mad.

"According to my notes, the guild should be in a heavily wooded area just outside Onibus. We can take the train."

"Alright."

Throwing the hoods of their cloakc over their heads, the trio slipped in and out of the trees to make their way to the station. Jellal kept his face well hidden, for it was no secret that he was a wanted criminal and it would not do to have him captured at this rate. It came time to board, but he let Ultear lead to maintain an air of privacy for himself. Once inside the train doors, they found a compartment and ducked in. Now, Jellal felt it was somewhat safe to remove the hood, but kept a wary eye out for nosy passengers.

"So, do we proceed as usual?"

"Yes." Jellal answered.

"Then disappear after?"

"Yes."

Jellal smiled a small smile, staring out the window. Ultear looked curiously at him, studying his expression.

"What are you planning after this, Jellal?"

"I-I don't know."

He sighed, dropping his gaze, and closed his eyes. How could he explain?

"Are you thinking of... kil-"

"Do not say it out loud."

His head snapped up, and he glared sharply into the small girl's eyes. A small shake of his head further enforced his point, and Meredy nodded.

"Honestly, I think it's appropriate. I hope to die within the next few weeks, to spare Erza the pain of having to deal with me."

"Fool!" Ultear exclaimed in a choked whisper. "Do you not realize that by dying you cause more pain that you save her?"

Her tone made him falter, and his eyes widened a fraction. His heart skipped a beat as he realized the truth in her words. Yet, why did he feel that death was the smartest choice for him?

"I don't- how do I do this? There is nothing else I can do."

"Then at least hope to live. Never, ever hope to die." Her expression softened. "Meredy and I will support you the whole way."


	4. Chapter Three - Promise Me

"Hey, Erza, isn't that Jellal?"

"What?"

The mage looked up, startled and suddenly very panicked. Looking madly around the train compartments immediately in their area, Erza whipped her gaze back to her blonde partner.

"Where?"

"Just over there."

She looked in the direction Lucy was pointing, and drew in a sudden breath. As her partner had noted, a blue haired mage with an intricate red tattoo around his right eye was in deep conversation with two other women. Erza hurriedly turned back to her own table.

"It is him." She muttered.

"Um, is everything alright?"

A flush of pink rose to her cheeks as she contemplated the possible ways to answer that question, but before she could, she heard a quick gasp from the seat she had just been observing. Straining to hear she held a breath.

"Is that who I think it is?"

"Well, considering the shade of red her hair is, I doubt there is any other person it could be."

At this point Erza was blushing madly, and Lucy stared helplessly.

"This can't be good." She whispered.

"Erza."

Jellal deliberately called to her loud enough to hear but soft enough not to distract anyone else. Erza froze, forcing her face to remain calm and passive. She cautiously turned, and looked curiously at Jellal.

"What?"

"Ca-can I have a word with you?"

"Sure." She cursed under her breath, but stood anyways.

"Thank you."

She slid into the seat next to him, not knowing what to expect. Waiting while he took a deep breath, she carefully requipped into everyday clothes.

"I didn't expect to see you on this train."

"Neither did I, truthfully."

"I'm going to apologize in advance, Erza."

"Why?" Now she was worried.

"Red, like roses." He breathed.

"Jellal, what is this all about?"

"Erza, maybe I should kill myself." He whispered, meeting her gaze.

"What?"

"All this trouble, it's my fault. If I disappear, then everything would be perfect for you."

"No, it wouldn't!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, I thought you would say that." He smiled sadly.

"Jellal, you idiot. If you want to make me happy and atone for your sins, then live on and make the world better! Didn't you and the other two form a guild for that purpose?"

"E-erza..."

"I mean it, Jellal." Her voice dropped. "There are people that would hate to see you gone, and there are people who value your life. You should too."

"Um-"

"No rash actions. Do I have your word?"

Jellal looked at her, and saw a fierce determination to keep him alive. Red like roses, blue like water. The colors clashed in front of his eyes, and he nodded.

"You have my word."

"Jellal..."

She relaxed, letting out the breath she had been subconsciously holding. Her head fell onto his shoulder, surprising him. A moment passed before he thought to put an arm around her shoulder and squeeze it in a comforting gesture.

"Erza, I-"

The train suddenly jolted, then stopped. A second later, the door burst open and three men in black bodysuits jumped in.

"We are the... JIGGLE BUTT GANG!"

She stared, heart sinking, as the three bandits rounded up the passengers into a corner.

"Hey! You slow-pokes! Get in the corner." One of them screeched.

"Who are you calling slow?" Erza fumed.

Her hand slammed on the table as she requipped into her Lightning Empress armor. The staff crackled, and as she stepped towards the leader of the Gang, the man found himself smirking.

"Sparks can't hurt me! Sparks are just half-"

Before he could finish, she had swung at him, knocking him out and effecively swiping the other two out of the way. The passengers, terrified of this girl, cowereed in the corner, staring wide-eyed at her. Erza calmed down, and requippd back into normal clothes.

"Sorry. I lost a bit of control."

Turning back around, she saw Jellal smirking, and raised an eyebrow. He chuckled once or twice, and leaned back in his seat.

"You know how to impress me."

"Flattery." She muttered.

"Requip magic. Volatile personality. Is this the legendary Titania I have heard tales of?"

"Who are you?"

"Well, I'm just a rogue mage who has been wandering these parts. I use Requip also, just the male armor forms."

"That doesn't answwer my question. Who are you?"

"Kieral Evaniss."

"Affiliation."

"None at the moment."

"At the moment?" Erza glared.

"I've been invited to three guilds, one being Fairy Tail, and it is quite tempting. Although I have to say, some of your guildmates are less than mature these days."

"Yes, that is true."

Erza cursed quietly, and blew a stray hair from her face.

"What is your business here?"

"I came to tell you somethingr."

She raised an eyebrow, but let him whisper something in his ear. Her eyes slowly widened, and she slowly sucked in a long breath.

"I will see about that." She muttered darkly.

"Secrets, secrets."

Erza glanced pointedly at Jellal, telling him to keep his mouth shut, then turned to Kieral.

"Thank you. Would you like to join Fairy Tail?"

"Why not."

"Welcome to the guild." She smiled.

"Thank you. I had better go tell Makarov, then."

He lightly jumped out of the train car, requipping into Black Wing Armor and flying off. She watched him, shaking her head slightly.

"That boy..."

Jellal stood, taking her hand. A shiver involuntarily ran down her back, causing Jellal to smile a bit, but he stepped up to the civilians.

"Where were you all headed?"

Many muttered replies came in response, and Erza swore under her breath. The people, it seems didn't want help from any mages.

"We don't need help." Someone confirmed her thoughts.

"Fine. Let's go, Jellal."

She pulled him off the train and requipped into Flight Armor, hovering over the ground. Jellal looked up, and smiled at the cat ears.

"Erza."

"Yes?"

"I- I hope you are happy."

She paused mid-flight.

"I am."

"Good. I'll make it stay that way. I promise."

"Hurry up, Jellal." She called back to him.

Setting a course for Magnolia, she flew, stopping briefly along the way to eat cake. All in all, an uneventful trip until she spotted the Fairy Tail guild hall. There, a crowd was gathered in front of the doors, waving their arms.

"What...?"

She touched down, requipped and approached, pushing through the crowd in time to see Kieral being beat with a club.

"What is the meaning of this?" She snapped.

"He's a filthy lying piece of trash."

"Explain."

"He tried to get into Fairy Tail, but too bad we all saw through it. This is the criminal we've been hearing about on the news."

"Actually, if you all heard the latest broadcast, the criminal was safely locked up in prison, and has a guard on duty at all times. Just like all other criminals."

"How do you know?" Someone challenged.

"Because I have relations."

She helped Kieral up, then sent him inside.

"Leave. Every one of you."


	5. Chapter Four - Never Say Die

Muttering under her breath, Erza shooed the crowd away and closed the guild doors. Kieral was bundled into the infirmary, and Polyersica looked him over.

"I'm fine, I promise." He protested.

"Let me make sure."

After a short struggle, he gave up and let her inspect his bruises, deeming them harmless after not more than a couple minutes. Shrugging, he left the tiny room and sat at one of the tables in the main hall.

"Sorry about that. My guildmates are very suspicious right now, and they don't really have much trust in anyone."

"That's alright. I'm used to it."

He grinned ruefully, rubbing one eye. Kieral wasn't lying. For the past few weeks, he'd been repeatedly mistaken for one of the common criminals that had escaped from prison, and there had been many misunderstandings.

"Erza!"

She raised an eyebrow, turning to see Lucy running around, Natsu and Gray being dragged along behind. Groaning, Erza put a hand to her forehead.

"Not again." she muttered.

"I can take care of it." A voice piped up.

"Oh? Thanks, Mira."

"No problem. Besides, I think someone is waiting for you."

Mirajane gestured casually toward Jellal, who was leaning against one of the trees behind Fairy Tail Guild. Erza's heart gave a flutter, but she kept her composure and nodded to Mira.

"Thanks. I'll go talk with him."

Jellal looked up as she approached, and gave her a quick smile.

"What do you want?" She asked.

"I need a favor. Can we walk?"

She nodded, and started off along the trail deeper into the forest.

"My favor, it is an interesting one. I'm wondering if you actually will accept or not." He smiled ruefully.

"Does it benefit Magnolia?"

"Of course it does. It's just a bit, how do you say it? Reckless."

"Just tell me." She sighed quickly.

"Brace yourself. You may want to sit."

At this, Erza narrowed her eyes. If it was that bad, it was highly possible that she would not approve. Still, she sat, willing to hear him out.

"Continue."

"Okay. I have set up a battle. Fairy Tail against me. But only you will fight me."

"Are you mad?"

"It's the only way to resolve this, Erza." He gave her a sad smile. "And I won't have to pretend to be helpless. If you prefer, we could end this now. You have sets of armor at your disposal, I'm right here."

"No. You are not dying while I can help it."

"You love me that much, Erza?" Jellal whispered.

Her blush gave it away, and Jellal chuckled.

"Erza, I have to say, it would be an honor to die at the hand of your Purgatory armor. It certainly would fit, wouldn't it? Best of all, I would die with you as the last thing I see."

"I told you, I won't let you die!"

Her vision blurred as tears formed in her eyes. An angry blush burned in Erza's cheeks as she stood up and took Jellal by the shirt collar.

"Why won't you understand? I don't want you to die! If you think this will benefit anyone, it won't. If you want to benefit Magnolia, go out there with your guild and get rid of the terrors that plague Fiore. Don't sit around moping about you and your elaborate death schemes."

Jellal couldn't meet her gaze, but he nodded. He seemed to be one of the few people able to handle her fiery temper, and this gave him a very perceptive view of her ideas.

"Very well. I see your point." He conceded.

"Good. I never want to hear of this again."

Erza stalked out of the woods with Jellal close behind. Her fury slowly faded as she walked, and eventually her footsteps slowed to match Jellal's. Their arms brushed, sending a shiver down her spine, but Erza made no move to show that she had noticed.

"Erza, the sky is so pretty today."

"Hm, yes it is." She glanced curiously at him.

"Have you noticed that there is one more beautiful thing here also?"

"The clouds?" She was really confused now.

"No, silly. It's something really close to me."

"The trees?"

"Keep guessing."

Erza sighed, thinking. Her mind wandered for a while, but she couldn't come up with anything. Every once in a while, her gaze would slide over to Jellal, and every time, he would have a small half-sile on his face, as if there was a joke she wasn't getting. Frustrated, she frowned and thought more.

"Erza, look at me."

She did.

"Look into my eyes, and tell me what you see."

"My reflection."

"That, Erza, is the most beautiful thing here, and she's all mine."

Erza's eyes widened by the slimmest fraction, and she stopped walking. The leaves swirled around them, red and blue mixing until it was all just a whirl of colors, and in the middle of it, those words, the three words that stopped time for just one second. She's all mine.

"Jellal-"

"Erza, I never denied that I've done wrong things, bu now you've given me reason to continue living and make up for my mistakes. I hope you can forgive me for the things I said back there."

"Jellal, I don't know what-" She trailed off once more.

"It's okay. I know."

He took her hand, and slipped a bracelet around her wrist. A charm bracelet. One charm hung on it, a small golden heart with an "E" carved into the metal. She leaned against him, feeling a bit overwhelmed suddenly, and he hugged her back. One happy tear slid down her cheek, and Jellal wiped it away.

"Is this happy, or was it something I did again?" He asked gently.

"It's definitely happy. Happy." She answered.

Looking up at Jellal, Erza felt butterflies springing into life, and as the forest got very very quiet, she became aware of Jellal leaning his head forward to hers, resting them together. She closed her eyes, relaxing, and suddenly everything was okay. All of her troubles disappeared for the momentm, and she was free.

Opening one eye a crack, Erza saw Jellal smile, felt him wrap his arms around her waist and lift her up slightly. Panic stated building as she realized what he was going to do, and she tried to relax, go with it. Taking slow breaths, she got it under control. One last moment passed, and Jellal pressed his lips to hers.


	6. Chapter Five - Remember

Erza's heart soared, and she melted into his embrace. Her feelings swirled in her mind, confusing her and making her feel elated at the same time. The intensity of it overwhelmed her and her left foot slipped. Jellal cried out, and Erza's eyes flew open. As she fell backwards, she reached for Jellal's outstretched hand. Their hands touched briefly, then she fell through Jellal's fingertips.

Erza's Internal Mindset

_Erza opened her eyes, and blue atmosphere surrounded her on all sides._

'_It's like the ocean, but… dry.' She thought to herself._

_A bubble floated by her, and she held a hand to it. It immediately repelled away, and Erza frowned. If this was where she thought it was, that could be a problem. She stroked, and found that she could indeed move around. She took a closer look at one of the bubbles; it contained a fuzzy image of Jellal holding her as she cried. _

'_I don't remember that.' _

_She mused silently, then floated around a bit more before sighing. This was what she thought it was. It was her memory storage. The only reason she was here was because she had lost her memories, and couldn't even get them back yet. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to wake up, and felt herself slipping from this world into the next._

"Erza, can you hear me?"

"Hm? Who are you, and how do you know my name?"

"Wha-" He caught himself, then laughed. "Me? I'm Jellal."

She opened her eyes, and indeed, it seemed that Jellal was standing in front of her. But he was dead, wasn't he? She frowned, and narrowed her eyes. Jellal raised an eyebrow, and she arched hers in return.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

Jellal looked down at his knees, smirking.

"Do I look dead to you?"

"No, I don't suppose you do." Erza glared at him.

Jellal stood, offering a hand out to her. She warily took it, not sure whether to trust Jellal or not. He was supposed to be dead, or so she thought. Had she remembered wrong? Either way, Erza let go of his hand once she was back on her feet, and headed of for her guild, hoping to sort this out. Jellal, meanwhile, walked in the opposite direction until he was out of earshot of Erza, and then he stopped. He turned around, taking the shortcut through the woods back to the guild, pushing himself to get there before Erza.

"I have to warn them." He hissed.

Jellal slapped at branches, jumped over tree roots, did whatever he had to, just trying to reach guild hall before she did. Finally, he burst out of the trees and into the street, stumbling a bit. Bursting into the guild hall, Jellal ran to Lucy and Gray, spitting out his tale as fast as he could.

"So now she can't remember anything from after the Grand Magic Games."

"Oh no. This is very, very bad." Gray muttered.

"Still, I can't believe Erza lost her memories." Lucy sighed softly.

"Right after I got mine back too." Jellal cursed under his breath.

Makarov approached them, and Lucy repeated Jellal's story for him. Just as she finished, Natsu gave a shout.

"Erza's back!"

Without meaning to, Natsu had just given them time to hide Jellal and mil around like nothing was happening. Erza slammed open the guild doors, stalking up the stairs to find an S Class job to take. Jellal slowly crept out from behind Mirajane's bar, shaking his head.

"How are we supposed to deal with this?" He asked.

"You'll just have to avoid seeing her until she remembers."

The blue haired mage was silent for a long moment. The other mages standing around him shifted awkwardly, avoiding his gaze. They could all see the feelings between Jellal and Erza, and they all knew how hard these days were going to be. Jellal sighed quietly, nodding. He gave each of them an odd look, then he turned to leave.

"Do me a favor, though. When she does remember, please send me a message."

They all gave their affirmative, and Jellal left Fairy Tail, cloak billowing in a late summer breeze.

**A/N**

Sorry this chapter is so short, it just felt appropriate, you know? Anyhoo the next chapter will be longer. And more painful. Thanks, bye for now


	7. Chapter Six - Waiting Around

Erza stormed around the guild for a few minutes, muttering to herself. She stopped in front of the job board, ripped on off, and slammed it on the table before Mirajane, then stalked out of the guild. Natsu and Gray stared after her, frowning. The master sighed, approaching them.

"How long has she been like this?"

"I don't know, three days?" Natsu yawned.

"No, more like a week or something."

Gray snorted at Natsu, punching him in the cheek. Natsu went flying, hitting the wall. He bounced off, getting back up and running at Gray. Gray stepped backwards, letting Natsu hit the other wall. At this point, Natsu sat on the floor, giving up on attacking Gray back. It seemed Erza's bad mood was affecting everyone, turning the guild inside out.

"If this goes on any longer, we'll have to find some way to deal with Erza." Makarov muttered.

Kieral walked in, shaking his head.

"She's already completed five jobs, two of them S Class, in a week. Master, we can't let her keep going like this."

"I know. I know. Brats, we have to help her."

"Master. You don't have to talk about me like I'm not in the room."

Everyone stopped speaking, looking over at Erza, who was frowning at all of them. She sighed, shaking her head, and walked over to stand in front of Makarov. Giving him an angry glare, she folded her arms and waited.

"Explain."

"Erza, I will be blunt with you. You have lost your memories stretching back to when Jellal died. I don't know how much you do remember, but this much I know; there will be days when you feel as though the guild is against you, but all we are trying to do is help you regain them."

She raised an eyebrow, stalking out of the guild and off to her job. The small guild master sighed, shaking his head and returning to a back room of the guild. A lot weighed on his mind as he left his young charges to discuss the situation.

"Hey, Lucy, do you have any ideas."

She shook her head. For once, the blonde Celestial mage had nothing to offer. Neither did Gray or Natsu and none of the other guild members had any ideas either. Suddenly, Lucy's eyes began to glimmer faintly with hope.

"I could ask Crux if he can help us." She whispered.

"Do it then!"

She pulled out a gleaming silver key and summoned Crux with a bright white flash.

"Can you find out how to return Erza's memories?"

He nodded once then dozed off. At this, some of Lucy's guild mates looked worried, but she brushed them off with a wave.

"That's how he researches. He's finding anything he can right now."

The Fairy Tail guild sat down collectively to wait for Crux to awaken. Their guild mate Erza depended on this. Eventually, amidst the small conversations that had begun to blossom, Lucy cried out triumphantly.

"I know how we can fix this. Thank you, Crux!"

The silver key spirit nodded once before disappearing in a puff of dust. Lucy smiled brightly at her guild mates, the first truly ecstatic smile Fairy Tail had seen in a week. Cana, taking a long sip of beer, quirked an eyebrow at the celestial mage.

"Shoot, Lucy."

"Well, Crux told me that there was something blocking her memories, right? So, if we can find that and remove it, or somehow allow her memories to come back to her, then she'll remember everything. Problem is, I don't think anyone here knows how to do that."

"Problem solved. I do."

Polyersica stepped out of the back infirmary, casting a stern glance at the Fairy Tail guild. She pulled aside the master for a brief moment while everyone waited in tense silence before shrugging and stepping away again. As if on cue, Erza came barreling in through the door.

"Erza."

"What?" She snapped. Lucy cringed slightly.

"Come with me."

"Fine."

She followed the elderly mage into a room no one in Fairy Tail had known existed, and instructed her to sit in a chair.

"Close your eyes and try to fall asleep."

Erza gritted her teeth but complied. It felt strange, because as she was falling asleep it seemed instead of sleep, she fell into a dream world where the air was the color and texture of water, and even had bubbles floating… Oh, she realized. This was her memory storage.

"Erza, I am going to tell you what to do. You must follow my instruction exactly." A voice told her in her mind.

"Okay. I'm ready." She thought back.

Polyersica had shooed everyone from the room as soon as Erza had lost consciousness. Her process was a very secretive and closely guarded one, and even the prestigious Fairy Tail could not buy their way into this one. Even so, she knew that the tight bonds between these mages would help Erza more than any preparation would.

Lucy slumped in a chair, her hair flopping over her eyes. She closed her eyes, hoping with all her might that Erza would come out of this okay. For once, Natsu got something right, and sat by her, tucking an arm around her shoulders for comfort. In his head he rationed that he was doing this for his own sake as well as hers, even though in his heart he knew there was a deeper reason.

"Hey, Lucy. It'll be fine."

"I know. I just hope it will work."

With nothing else to do and no motivation for jobs, Fairy Tail once more sat down to wait, and wait, and wait.

Jellal paced, stopped, sat down, then stood and paced some more. He had been doing this a lot lately, and Meredy had noticed. But as much as she tried, nothing could relax him. She had tried to make him sit down for more than five minutes; that hadn't ended well for either of them. Meredy's usually limitless patience was running out, and she needed someone who could help her.

"Jellal, let's go."

She sprinted off, leaving him to try and catch up. Meredy didn't stop until they had reached the Lamia Scale guild hall, but instead of directly knocking, she let loose a pigeon that she knew would find the person she was looking for. The bird flew into the guild hall, and Jellal raised one eyebrow.

"That's what you came for?"

"Nyaah! Nope, I am!"

A girl with cat ears, a tail and a choker decorated with a bell bounced out of the guild hall towards them. Jellal raised an eyebrow, but couldn't help smiling and hugging Milliana. After the misunderstanding with Kagura, the two of them had become quite good friends. Now though, the only thing on his mind was the red haired mage who had so stolen his heart. He gave the cat mage a bleary look, then crossed his arms and waited for her to speak.

"What's the problem, Meredy-chan? Nyaah."

"Him. He's the problem." She gestured to Jellal.

"Me? You say I'm the problem?"

Jellal threw up his hands, and the two girls exchanged a knowing glance. They each took one of Jellal's arms and effectively frog-marched him into the guild hall to the amusement and confusion of Milliana's guild mates. She winked at Risley, but continued to shove the protesting Jellal to the back room. Risley's eyes widened as a giggle escaped her lips. Her giggle soon evolved into full blown laughter as the rest of her guild realized what Milliana was planning.


	8. Chapter Seven - What Not To Do

Mirajane set the plate of food down outside the secret room as per Polyersica's instructions. Her guild mate and best friend Erza had been in there for two days now, and Mirajane was sure that the elder mage working on her memories would be near exhausted by now. All she knew now was that Polyersica was nearly finished, and everything would soon be normal once more. At least that's what she and her guild were all hoping. None of them knew what would actually transpire. Mirajane was just about to return to the bar to continue her service when a haggard Polyersica flung open the door, slamming in as soon as she was out. Her weary wrinkled face seemed more tired than usual, and her shoulders slumped in a way that Fairy Tail hadn't seen in the old woman before.

"I don't know why it's not working. I retrieved some, but others refuse to budge."

"What!?" The guild collectively shouted.

"But the memories will come back with time."

"Alright. How much time will it take?"

"I don't have any idea." The pink haired mage sighed.

Fairy Tail was silent for a long moment, mulling over this latest news. Mirajane frowned, then walked over the Polyersica and gently put a hand on her arm before remembering she didn't like human contact.

"Sorry. Should we wake her now?" She asked quietly.

Polyersica nodded, and they went into the room, where Mira could already see Erza's eyelashes fluttering. Mira clasped her hands behind her back to hide how much they were shaking as she smiled at her guild mate. A tear slid down her cheek, a product of stress and worry, and she quickly brushed it away.

"Erza, how do you feel?"

"Okay. I could be better. I have some memories back. They go about until Jellal first appeared again, the day he told me of his independent guild."

"When was that?"

"About a month and a half ago. I think."

"That's good then, right?"

"I suppose."

Inside, Mira was nearly crying. All of those times when Erza had come across Jellal in her work, the frequent run ins with the Heavenly Body mage that she so loved, all of those encounters were still missing from her memory? Maybe Erza had a faint idea of what she was missing, because she now turned to Mira and asked her a question.

"My missing memories, they all have to do with something close to me, don't they?" She sighed.

Mira nodded, squeezing her hands harder behind her back. It was so painful to watch her friend torn by the things she couldn't remember yet needed to know so badly. She hated to admit it, but the only thing they could do now was wait for her to regain them naturally.

When she broke the news to the rest of her guild, an enormous weight was lifted from everyone's shoulders, but not enough to be gone completely. At the very least, they had Erza mostly back.

"I need to take a walk." Erza mumbled.

They let her go, knowing she would need space. Erza wasn't used to being the one that needed help; she was always the strong one, undaunted by terrifying situations and helping others in need. Now, when she was the one in need, the guild was determined to help in any way they could, including giving her time alone.

"Erza."

A soft voice called her name, and she turned around on the sidewalk. No one was there. Was she imagining things? But the voice was so familiar. Startled, she kept walking, trying to expend the nervous energy coursing through her veins when it happened again. A male voice, louder this time, called her name. Erza spun frightfully, holding her head with both hands and collapsing on the ground as the memory returned to her.

_Jellal grabbed her wrist, hard._

"_Erza, I need you. Listen to me; I love you, but I can't keep torturing you. If I leave, it will all get better for you. Nor more pain or suffering, you can concentrate—"_

"_Jellal, don't you dare. I would hate you eternally, and besides that, far from helping me you would just hurt me in the worst way possible. If you truly loved me you would stay alive and stay with me so I wouldn't suffer needlessly."_

"_Scarlet—"_

"_You know I need you far more than it hurts me. Yes, you made bad decisions in the past that left scars on me. But the past can't be changed; only the future can."_

_She stared at her feet, tears brimming on her eyelashes. Two strong arms locked her in their embrace, and she melted into it, tucking the feeling away in a small drawer of her memories._

The vision faded, and Erza opened her eyes to find Jellal kneeling by her, brushing away stray tears. She gasped in shock, staring at him.

"Why are you here?" She whispered hoarsely.

"Because I came to see you. Erza, I promised you I would stay alive, and I will. But I didn't say I would do it without you. I must see you every once in a while, do you understand?"

"I regained some memory." She blurted out.

Jellal flushed, looking away from her now. She patted his head cutely, and then hugged him. After understanding a little more about what he was saying and what she had felt, Erza could embrace her feelings freely.

"I love you. More than you could ever imagine. And the past can't be changed, only the future can."

Jellal blinked as she quoted that day's words, and a silent tear trickled down his jaw line to rest in the collar of his shirt, one memory lost in the midst of the rest. He closed his eyes to prevent himself from crying, and returned Erza's embrace.

"Don't you know not to spring information on me like that?" He muttered, laughing.

"What Not To Do, with special guest star Erza Scarlet." She joked.

"You're cute."

Jellal stood, then held one hand out to her to pull her up. She grasped his hand tight, resolved never to let go again. However, Jellal winked and swung her up bridal style, carrying her back to the guild.


	9. Chapter Eight - Cute Worry

Erza buried her face in Jellal's coat before breaking off the gesture and pushing the guild door open. She was confused, confused but happy, yet at the same time she was uncomfortable. Maybe it was the feeling of expressing her emotions. She had never been good at that. Maybe it was being so honest with him. She had never been good at that either. Whichever way the cookie crumbled, Erza knew she would have to accept it sooner or later; her feelings didn't look like they were going away soon.

"They're so cute together."

Her head snapped toward the direction of the cautious whisper, and the two mages knew they had been caught. Both of them froze in shock before running out of the hall. Erza didn't bother giving chase, nor did she even move. She just watched them go, too tired to try chasing down matchmakers.

"Er-chan!"

A voice shook her out of her thoughts. Millianna was waving to her, smiling brightly. Erza gave her a wave and started out to meet her.

"Why are you here?" She gave the cat mage a long hug.

"Well, I heard you were having a bad day, and– "

"How did you hear that?"

"Oh, a kitty told me."

Erza raised an eyebrow, but laughed, moving on.

"So, what were you saying?"

"Well, I planned a trip to the spa for us and Kagura-chan!"

"Sounds good. When do we leave?"

"How about now?" She grinned at Erza.

"Sure."

An hour later, the two were on their way to the spa Millianna had booked, meeting Kagura halfway there. The normally serious mage was quite friendly today, having made up with Erza after the Grand Magic Games. In fact, the Games had been a bonding experience for everyone involved, since the dragons had attacked not too long after. Now, she and Kagura were good friends, quickly melting the ice that had longs since frozen them into a cold struggle.

"Hey, Kagura. What do you suppose is going to happen with Jellal?"

"I d-don't really know. He seems to be deciding whether or not to kill himself lately, even after what Millianna and I did."

Kagura and Millianna began to laugh, both recalling the day the cat mage had dragged a protesting Jellal in through the guild door. While Erza looked on in confusion, the Mermaid Heel mages calmed themselves before promising to reveal the details later. Erza gave a chuckle, nodding assent. The train slowed and jolted to a stop.

"We're here! This way, nyaah!"

Millianna forged ahead through the crowd and only paused to wait for them once. She was nearly bouncing out of her skin with excitement, telling them it was only a block away to the fabulous spa she had found just for the three of them. Erza began to share her excitement when the building came into view. The section of the complex that they could see was exquisite, holding a minimum of four different pools to soak and relax in, and there was even a section almost like a water park with slides and such.

"Wow, Milli, you really found a good one."

"I had to find someone to help me find the best one for a lower price though." She laughed.

"Who?"

"U-um, well, Kagura-chan… I actually went to Hibiki."

"Not the worst." She conceded.

They walked in, confirmed their two night reservation and eagerly entered the spa area. Erza was immediately enchanted by the hot spring; Millianna went for the pool; Kagura headed for the cold plunge. Periodically, one of the three would run into another and recount a fascinating tale of male mages flirting with them, or a funny scene at their location. Hours of fun later, the three of them retired to their designated room and collapsed on the beds, worn out beyond measure.

Jellal let his hands drop after examining them for a few minutes. He didn't understand how he had let this happen, but it had. He had hurt Erza again, without even trying to. When she had turned away without a single goodbye that had been the worst. He knew she loved him, but he didn't understand himself. Maybe she had just needed to be alone? But maybe he was why she needed to be alone. Jellal felt more insecure than he ever had before in his lifetime. It was a strange feeling, and an altogether unpleasant one.

"I am… despicable." He muttered into open air.

"No, you aren't."

He heard the voice, spun around and registered it was a memory repercussion just seconds before the memory began.

"_Jellal, I don't want to have to say it again. You need to stop berating yourself."_

"_Erza –"_

"_No. Don't argue. Either stop living like you do everything wrong or never see me again."_

_Jellal began to say something, then stopped and rethought. Erza nodded smartly, sighing at him. On a whim, Jellal grabbed her wrist and pulled her in. When she protested, it was his turn to shake his head at her. He winked, then bent his neck and kissed her._

He woke from the memory gasping, his heart aching from the pain the memory had resurfaced. It had been the shortest memory gain so far, and the most gut wrenching. Erza most likely hated him now; not that he knew, but it was the most realistic. Or so he told himself. His conscience told him otherwise. To shake it off, Jellal began walking through the woods without tracking his aimless footsteps. It wasn't until he looked up and stared straight into the face of Fairy Tail Guild that he realized his mind had walked him to Erza's home without even consulting him.

"Is Erza back yet?"

"No, she'll be here later tonight."

Jellal gave the lesser known Fairy mages an odd look before walking into the guild hall. He had been a common sight here lately, always waiting for his red-haired mage to return from a quest or journey. No one bothered to complain, since it seemed to be ever so slowly lifting Erza's spirits since her memory loss. In fact, some of her guild suspected she had regained more of them, and just hadn't mentioned it yet.

"Jellal! Want a drink?"

"Sure. Thanks, Mira."

He took it gloomily, sitting at the bar with his back to the rest of the guild. His shoulders hunched, giving him an old, worn out appearance. It seemed not everyone was oblivious to the rogue mage today, as Lucy and Mira sat together to whisper.

"He seems off."

"I think he misses Erza and how easy it was to love her before, you know." Mira saif softly.

"I think so."

"I feel bad for him, in an almost sisterly way."

"I hope he makes up with her soon. I like seeing them both happy. It's satisfying in an odd way."

Mira nodded, standing up to go back to her bar work. She wordlessly handed Jellal another drink and prayed that Erza would recover everything soon.


	10. Chapter Nine - Remember

Jellal had been spending far too much time at the Fairy Tail guild hall lately, but never when Erza was there. If any one of them saw her approaching, they gave him a warning and he would leave out the hidden back door. He wanted to see her, make no mistake, but it was too painful to see her without the memories he wanted her to have. So, he didn't. It was that simple. Of course, it was hurting him too, but he felt that was beside the point.

"Jellal, she's.. Oh wait, that's just Mira."

He skeptically eyed the figure bearing the hall, them his eyes widened.

"That's her. I have to go."

His voice was strained as he stood, even after a week of doing the same thing. A week since she had come out of that room. A week since she had regained some memories, buy not all of them. A week since he had carried her back to her own guild. For a couple of days she had tried to talk to him; after he had fled from her conversations she'd stopped trying, and he found it slightly easier. Slightly easier to accept that she didn't remember all of the things that had gone on between them. Because even if she did love him, he didn't know if it would last without the rest of her memories. Maybe her should move on, get a job, leave this town.

He stormed out the back door, thinking hard. The day Polyersica had worked on her, he had found her collapsed outside the guild hall. She had women up from the memory, they'd gone back to the guild, and that had been that. The next day after that, they had spent some time together in the morning before she had left to go somewhere. That had been excruciating for him, and that had been the day he'd stopped talking to her. When she had come back, he'd left, not giving her an explanation. Now here he was, avoiding Erza and painfully thinking about her. It was as if she was meant for him, but was supposed to cause him the worst pain possible at the same time.

"Jellal, you have to stop avoiding me."

"Erza, I-"

"No, I don't want to hear your excuses. I've been waiting to talk to you, and I've tried to be patient and give you time alone but it's getting ridiculous."

"It's too much for me. I remember things that you don't, and then I wish you did remember and it just hurts both of us. I think I would be better fit me to find a home elsewhere."

"So you can do what? Find another fiancée? See, if you had talked to me in the past couple of days you would have realized I had gained a couple more memories back. But you didn't, did you now?"

"I- I need to leave."

He tried to walk off, but she grabbed his sleeve and faced him to her.

"You listen to me!"

He froze in shock, but nodded.

"Jellal, I remember things until about two weeks ago, if I'm estimating correctly." Her voice softened. "I have memories of us that make me want your feelings for me to be real. So tell me. Are they?"

"Erza-"

"I don't care what you do after this. I'll deal with that pain later. Just tell me this."

"I do. I love you. So what do you propose I do?"

"I think you should keep doing your work with Crime Sorciere. But whatever you feel is right."

Jellal considered what she said.

"I just... I don't deserve this."

"What?"

"All of this kindness. From you and from the guild."

"Yes you do. I told you before, I'll tell you again. The past cannot be changed; only the future can."

He sighed, letting one single teardrop slide down his cheek. His arm hesitantly reached for hers and he waited and waited, until he could not possibly wait any longer, and he embraced her with a fervor he hasn't realized had been in him. Erza smiled faintly, remembering how much she had missed his hugs over the past couple days. _This was how it should be_, she thought to herself.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you more."

She chuckled softly. She had missed that too.

There was a certain air of suspicion in the air as the guild gathered. Jellal waited in the shadows, his hood up over his head. Erza gave him a smile from her corner, returning her attention to Gray and Natsu soon after. As the crowd began to quiet down, he stepped out and flipped his hood back.

"Fairy Tail, it has come time for me to enlist your help."

Even Erza looked the slightest bit shocked, although she had known this would happen eventually.

"I know you've already helped me beyond measure. I cannot repay you enough for that. But I do ask that you accept 1,000,000 jewels for this mission."

"That much? Why is the number so high?"

"Because what I am asking is quite a favor."

"What is it?"

"I need your help in destroying a dark guild."

"But you can't do it yourself?"

"No. This guild amounts to nearly 80 people. Meredy and I have been trying to whittle their numbers down but it's getting difficult. We need your help."

"What guild?"

"Snake Bite, in Hargeon."

"Jellal."

Erza's voice, even so soft as it was, attracted his attention immediately. He looked her directly in the eye, raising one eyebrow.

"What, Erza?"

"What do you suppose we are going to do, per se? We have next to no information about this guild and we don't know what they can do. Find out more and get back to us."

"But of course. This was just a request."

"We'll help in any way we can. That I can not deny you. However we do have limits. "

"I know."

Jellal nodded curtly, nearly smiling. At the last second, he stopped the smile and instead chose to give a little wave. Moments later, he was gone out of the door. Erza watched after him, wistfully wishing he'd completed the smile. But it was too late now, wasn't it? A small sigh left her mouth and she too was on her way out of the hall.


End file.
